Cap’n Chicken Crunch. Crunchy Chicken Captain. Whatever.

Things I learned this week:
  • If you compare the subject of a personality profile to Willy Wonka, your chances of receiving about a metric ton of chocolate from said subject increase substantially.


  • If there is a dog within a 50-yard radius of me, I will find a way to become best friends with it.


And if this guy is anywhere in the vicinity, he will get monstrously jealous.
  • Air travel is still a tremendous pain in the ass. (Sorry, Slate.)
  • Upon hearing you hail from New Jersey, people who aren’t from the tri-state area will always be astounded when you don’t sound like you’re from Staten Island or the Bronx.
  • I only half-watched the last 30 or so minutes of it, but the movie “Something Borrowed” should be renamed “Everyone In This Movie Except John Krasinski Should Be Hit In The Face With A Shovel.”
  • Although there are horrible, cruel people in this world, the good will always outnumber them. By a lot.
  • Chicken tastes amazing when breaded in Cap’n Crunch and dunked in honey mustard.
OK, OK, so a few of those things I could have guessed (that Something Borrowed would be infuriatingly insipid, Patton Oswalt is better at saying things than I am), and some of those things I already knew (air travel is a major crapfest and Cap’n Crunch chicken is not, namely).

This is a concept that comes from a deli/catering joint near my old job. For every event we had, whether it was an office holiday party, or some other celebratory event that required catering, my boss would have this served. The first time I had it, at our first employee Christmas party, I was under the impression that she made the chicken herself, and I thought she was some sort of wizard, or at least culinary genius. How perfect! The sugars in  Cap’n Crunch cereal get kind of melty upon cooking, and served dunked in this delightful, slightly tangy honey mustard? I’m going to eat this entire tray, if you don’t mind.

Then, I learned – about two or so weeks before I left that job – that not only did my boss order that food from somewhere, but that place was literally a two-minute drive from the office! And yeah, they totally serve lunch every day. It’s really too bad you’re starting at a new job about 45 minutes away from here. The universe found a way to be passive-aggressive.

Anyway, since I haven’t been in that particular neighborhood for quite some time now, I found myself missing that chicken crunch. So last night, I decided, I have two huuuuge chicken breasts sitting in my freezer, why not give this concept a go on my own?

I’d rate this as a pretty big success. Less than 24 hours after serving dinner, all leftovers were gone. The recipe is ridiculously easy, too – you’re basically just making pan-fried chicken cutlets/strips. And while I didn’t serve these to any kids (just a couple of young-at-heart [immature] twentysomethings), I have a feeling that these semi-sweet homemade chicken fingers would be a huge hit with the young’uns.

Cap’n Crunch Chicken Strips (serves 4)

2 cups ground Cap’n Crunch (1 cup of cereal yields about 1/2 cup of ground cereal)
1 cup flour
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 lb chicken breast (about 2 large or 4 medium sized), cut into tender-sized strips
vegetable or canola oil, for cooking

Put your cereal in a food processor and pulverize into breadcrumb-sized pieces. Set up an assembly line of sorts: Plate: Flour; Bowl: Egg and milk, beaten together; Plate: Pulverized cereal crumbs. Dredge the chicken in flour, then dip in the egg and milk mixture, then coat with cereal crumbs.


Over medium-high heat, heat oil in a skillet. When oil is hot, add chicken to the skillet and cook about 3-5 minutes per side. You should have a lot of chicken, so do it in batches of four or so, so as not to overcrowd the pan.

Serve, with honey mustard (a must), and your side of choice. We went with some creamed spinach. Loooved it.


Happy eating!


2 thoughts on “Cap’n Chicken Crunch. Crunchy Chicken Captain. Whatever.

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